ohhhh Wal-Mart

Since I live in a small town im used to seeing people I know every where I go. So that means I have to look decent so people don't think I'm a total slob outside of school. But occasionally I go to Wal-Mart looking like I have just walked through a dessert for fourty days and I was lucky enough to look like that last night. I told myself: "Come on Caryn, like anyone is going to be at Wal-Mart at nine at night, some people have lives". Not that I don't have a life, I was in need of "Ladies things" *clears throat* anyways, I went to Wal-Mart looking like crap basically. The coast was clear as I was walking down the isle but then all of a sudden a crowd of collage guys walk towards me!! I of course panic and walk to the nearest isle I could find, with my luck I went into the BIG BRA section. Dear Lord, how embarrassing right??? Not even close, when I reached my destination to the "Ladies department" I grabbed my stuff and hurried out of there amd ran into my Ex- boyfriend!!!!! Of course I gave him the cold shoulder but still, my goodness... You gotta love Wally World.

Ohhh Wal-Mart

So since I live in a small town I see almost every person when I go out running errands of whatever. Im used to getting looks that say "Dang she looks like crap" and I admit it, I do sometimes look like I have just got done walking in the dessert for fourty days. And you know what? I usually don't care, but last night I really should have because as I was standing in the department for women getting "Ladies items" and bunch of collage guys walked past and looked straight at me. You may not think that this is that bad but thats not even the worst part. As I hurried out of the department they were coming my way again so I found the nearest department to avoid them which I soon found out was the BIG BRA section. Oh... geez. Which they then walked past me again. I was so embarrassed. So I thought that it couldn't get any worse than this, so when I went to the check-out I found that my ex-boyfriend was standing in line right in front of me. So with a box of tampons in hand I waited in line with the guy who broke my heart and who was trying to make small talk with me. Ohhh man you gotta love Wally World.

The World, my Butt, and other huge problems...

I have noticed that I am a complainer. I have my days where I just talk non-stop about how everything is just so bad, and how he said this and she did that. I am the world's biggest complainer!! Today I decided to complain about dinner, which was a very bad idea. You see I didn't know my mom had a bad day today so off my mouth went when I received my Hot Pocket for dinner. I complained about how I will die of a Hot Pocket over dose if i don't get a home cooked meal soon, and how I know that there are starving children in Africa so send them my pocket of cheese and ham! Or how my butt is getting big with all of this frozen already cooked meals. Ohhh, how my mother went off like a fire cracker! About how i need to appreciate the food she buys and how she doesn't have time to cook anymore. And I felt bad for opening my mouth. I felt so bad that I didn't open my mouth at all except only to eat that dang Hot Pocket. =S :/ :(

Grapesof Wrath....is great!!

So my English teacher is having us read "The Grapes of Wrath" which, i'm not going to lie I thought would be a very boring book. I mean what are the grapes of wrath anyway? The title just makes me yawn and confused, but hey let me tell you it's like a really great book! I just love the imagery that the author paints, he takes every little detail and explains it in his own way. It may sound like i'm babbling on about some book about grapes but it really is a wonderful book. Not to mention it's a classic and it's on the AP reading list, it's like im mult-accompleshing by reading just one book. This is just great, and it taught me a lesson to really not judge a book by it's cover because thats exactly what I did. Wow I really need to stop doing that.

Only child...Yay??

So, when my sisters went to collage I thiought that it woud be just excellent! And don't get me wrong it totally was I mean I had the bathroom to myself, never had to share anything anymore, and I always have the attention on me! It was great! But now that everything is settled down I really do miss those two :(. Don't get me wrong me and my mom have a blast together but being an only child just is not the funest thing in the world. You get frozen dinners or take out almost every night. You have no one to yell at for stealing your stuff, no one to vent to when your day was bad. No one to just laugh at inside jokes or share how you feel about life, guys, and "girl problem". Sure me and my mom are like really close but it's just not the same you know? I will see them both over spring break but I just wish it were sooner!!! :(

I finally quit my job...HOORAH!!

I have finally quit my job at Sonic!!! Im sure you have read the blog that I wrote on how I need money bleh bleh bleh.. so I spend what seems countless hours at this fast food place where people are mean and my manager is...well... mean. So I straight up quit my job this morning and I couldn't be more happier. I started job hunting though today and I found that alot of people are hiring, so.... I hope I can have a job by the end of this month. Man, I never knew how important jobs were until I actully quit mine. I hope this all works out because I really do need cash $$$!!!

I think when God created men she was just kidding...

So I have a boyfriend now, suprise suprise!!! But the thing is, he doesn't ever want to spend the money for gas to come see me. He has me drive a half hour to go see him, which is kinda alot of money. I guess this is a good thing because I get to see him but it's also bad because I'm the one who has to drive to go see him!! Whenever I ask him about it he always says "Well I don't have the money to drive there" and he thinks I do?? But hes a great boyfriend and I don't want to start a fight over something as small as this so I just leave it alone.... Should I? Oh geez the things I do for him... haha....?

Changes

Okay, so you've clicked on my blog being kind of curious, maybe even scared. By looking at this title you might be thinking oh, I hope she doesn't talk about "Changes in the body" or "Becoming a Women". Or maybe you didn't think that and Im just talking like a crazy women. Either way you clicked on this blog. So read it. Face the facts people! Everyone changes their mind, for better or for worse it happens. People change everyday, it's quite scary if you ask me! You could be best friends with somone for twenty years and the next thing you know, they steal your cat, or your boyfriend/ girlfriend!!! Whats with this?? Well I would like to have some scientific answer that confuses you and makes you hate this blog but I don't. What Im going to say is that I hate change, everything about it, but I learned to cope with it because if I didn't I would be like one of those people who still thinks Abraham Lincoln is still president. Or that the televsion doesn't exist!! If I didn't except the fact that my parents got devorced who knows what I would've done? Change happens, sometimes for the good and sometimes it just plain sucks. But we have to get on with it and accept that things will happen changes will be made. Man, it feels good to ge that off my chest!

Stand up

I have noticed that alot of the time I never stand up for myself. I let people push me around, but I never really say anything about it. I don't know how many times I hear negitive things said about me in a day. I don't know what I do to have these things said about me I guess some people just don't know how to chill. I do my best to get along with everyone, and you probably thinking that every person has to go through this. But really do we have to? I mean I consider the word 'hate' to be a very strong word when you use it against someone. I have atleast heard it about me ten times a week. I just kind of laugh and walk away preteding it doesn't bother me but when I think about it it does. When your in highschool alot of thiings can go wrong, people judge, hate, gossip, and just be plain mean. So does that mean the person being bullied has to take it? I never thought so, but I don't do anything about it?? Why?

Valentines day....obviously

So, it's that time again!!! Valentines day. Usually on Valentines day I would be sitting at home watching the Notebook or P.S. I love you eating those different flavored chocolets and just loving life but this year is different this year I have to work!!!! Wow!! Im so psyched!! I just love car hopping to couples who want the new Sweet Heart milkshake and I love it when people are cheap and don't give me tips!! It's just so great. And the most ironic thing about this is that I actually have a special someone to spend time with on this special day and do I ge to see him? NO! I get to see lovers at Sonic you know this is just great. Just fantastic. I better get a Valentine gift from someone for this.

The Lovely Bones... REALLY MADE ME MAD!!!!!!!!!!! grrr.

So the other day I went with a friend to go see the movie "The Lovely Bones" and I was soooo excited, I am a book worm so it's only obvious I read the book before I saw the movie. And the book was great! Like always the book is better than the movie, but really I didn't care for the movie at all! I guess it really made me think about how many sick people like Mr. Harvy there are in the world. Mr. Harvy by the way is the weirdo killer. Watching the movie just sort of opened my eyes to how trustful I am of people. And there is a really good chance that something would happen to me if I didn't change that. I know what your thinking: "wow, this girl is weird, who would be so trustful of other people, strangers, weirdos?" Well you see, don't judge to quickly now, gee I felt your harsh words through the computer, calm down! I live in a small town, like all of you do who are reading this. We know everyone, yes there are some creepers in LJ but if your like me you just laugh and move on. But think about it when we go off to collages that are in Denver, or Colorado Springs, or out of state how will you react to the people there? Okay, so it's the first day of class for you in collage and your desperatly trying to find your class, your sprinting around like a rabbit on drugs. And the a nice guy stops you and asks if you need help. And your thinking, :"He is a hunk"!!! and of course you say yes! But you totally don't know him. He might be a nice guy or a serial killer or rapist. How are you supposed to know? As girls we need to not be so trusting. I know I don't. And don't think, "well I'll know if the guy is a creep or not, Caryn is a total freak for thinking I don't". But seriously do you really know that you will know if this guy is cool or not? Answer is: YOU DON'T!!!!

Fowler Formal, Formal Fowler, eh, whatevs...

So, I am going to the Fowler Formal this weekend, and well im not going to lie OH MY GOSH IM SOOOO NERVOUS! It's with this guy I met about three months ago at the Student Council retreat. Hes really cool and everything but I haven't ever been to another school's formal, better yet, to another school's dance!!! It's not that Im nervous to go with him and all that it's just that I know people will totally be wird about me at their dance. Already he told me that some girls at his school are talking about me, ughh. Girls can be so mean!!! I guess I'm just really anxious about it. I will try and ignore them I guess and just have fun? On the bright side I have this really cute dress to wear, ha ha. (sigh) I really hope that all of this is worth it. Because I really wouldn't like writing a blog that says how terrible of a time I had at the formal. And I highly doubt you will want to read it. ha ha.... ohhh man.

WHEN THE SIBLINGS GO AWAY SO DOES THE HOME COOKD MEALS

So, about two years ago when my oldest sister Audrey went away for collage I was bummed I knew I would miss her so much. So as another year went by my other sister Rachel went to collage and I had a break down. You see we are really close and it felt like half of me was missing. But I finally got over it and me and my mom are doing just fine. Except...I noticed that when both my sisters were gone my mom and I just don't cook that often. It's really hard to cook for two when you have been cooking for three or four for basically your whole life! One night me and my mom made cheese potatoes with meatloaf and to die for spagetti squash. And I mean this was a big thing because I had been eating Hot Pockets for about a week by then. So anyways, by the time the meal was ready I just couldn't wait to eat "real food". I filled my plate like a fat man at the Country Buffet and ate that food like a crazy women. By the time I was done I was soo full of meatloaf, potates, and spagetti squash, that I didn't want to look at food again. Unfourtunatly, we, like I said, were so used to cooking for three or four people that there was enough food left over to feed the neighborhood! So, that week I had leftovers. It was a bad experience, we eat out more or we just stick to Totino's pizza or Hot Pockets. Yay for frozen, already cooked, food items.

Do guys ever grow up? huh. NO!

Maturity: the art of growing up, responsibility, and understanding. Wow, this really fits the definition of girls. Why not boys you ask? Ha, well honey just look around, there are immature guys all around you. We all know what they do, how gross and dumb they can be, but I have one question... why do they act so.... weird? I know i sound like a sister with a younger annoying brother just complaining, but I really don't have a brother, Im just really worried about the boys in this town. Maybe not all of them act this way but i can sure tell you that most of them do. Like the other day i was sitting at luch eating my taco in peace when all of a sudden the boys at my table started talking about breasts. Yeah, i know you have heard this before, but i mean this is like 8th grade stuff. Then they started making farting noises then laughing at it like they had never heard that noise before. I mean seriously??? Can you grow up??? I asked my mom (the queen of wisdom) and she said: "Honey, men don't grow up and mature until the are eighty, with dentures, and hearing problems. And even then they talk about breasts". And i thought, oh dear lord save me from these immature ways of manhood!!! Oh well i guess, guys, you can't live with them, you can't live without them..... or can you?? Im sure it's totally possible.

It's all about the he said she said

So, have you ever had a rumor spread about you that really wasn't the type of rumor you wanted people to hear but yet it spreads like wild fire? Well I have and well let me tell you it was the worst day of my life. There are some girls in this world who would do anything and I mean anything to bring drama to the table. These girls are currently populated at LJHS (my school) and well, they bring lots of rumors and gossip with them to school like it was last nights homework or something. But anyways it made me realize that alot of things you hear about people aren't always true and you shouldn't beleive everything people say. I mean, if you are stupid enough to beleive to this unnessisary gossip CONGRATS YOU ARE OFFICIALLY AN LJHS DRAMA QUEEN!!!!! Ummm, and thats something that you shouldn't be proud of. Anyways, im just trying to get my point across that you should have respect for people and not beleive the trash everyone says about them. Be that one person who chooses to do the right thing and keep your trap shut! :)

Sonic....suckish.....not worth it...I need money!!!!

So I have been working at Sonic for a year now, and at first i thought it was just so great having a job and working. I was like : "ohh look at me, i have tips and money to spend"....blah blah blah. But lately working is just stressful and tips, well lets not even start on that! I really need to find a different job because I think that everyone should like going to work, not suffer and well be, pissed. But im just afraid that if i quit i won't find another job, and i really need to help my mom out since were kinda in a pickle with money. I really don't know what I will do and im stressing about it. I want to take on more hours to get more money on my paycheck, but i mean, is it really worth it? Ughhhh..... I just don't know what to do anymore!!!! :( :(

No, it really is you. Not me.

So, your stuck in a relationship where you think: "Oh my God, what was I thinking"? Basically the kid is crazy right? So how do you get out of this so called relationship? Well your asking a girl whose longest relationship is a month, so you have obviously asked the right person!!! Yay you! Anyways this whole break up thing doesn't consist of making up excuses, I mean the guy can be strong enough to handle the truth (hopefully). Don't lie to the poor guy just tell him what he has done wrong, and if he says he can change, well, lets just face it they never do. The way to handle this is to smile and walk away, yup, I said it, just walk away. He's strong enough to handle the truth but I highly doubt he will go after you. He will probably text you or just maybe call you and apologize. (This is beginning to sound like a "If you give a Mouse a Cookie" book). Anyways, if this happens there is a really cool thing they have on the cell phones now, it's called the END button. Press this once and TURN OFF THE PHONE. Now, if you have a stalker ex that calls you all night leaving messages non stop it's time to change your number. After avoiding him for about two weeks he should stop being a creeper. If not, sorry kid you have a VERY big problem, well, thats all the advice I have for you good luck in loosing that loser!!!

Seventeen shmeventeen...

I thought being seventeen would be great, blowing out those pink candles that were almost burning my cheesecake I thought: "ahh, being 17 will change my life". Huh, well it was a surprise when I woke up the next day and everything was the same. I looked in the mirror expecting to see a women....or atleast an almost women. But all I saw was.... me. I mean I wasn't expecting to see a fuller chest, and a coke bottle shape.... ha ha but I was expecting to see change. It's a little unfair don't you think? Girls constantly want to look like something their not,and to look older and more well.... grown up. Soon enough we wake up one morning and our face is wrinkled and hair is grey. So what do we want as women anyway? Hmmm, I don't know about you but I think i'll just stick with being happy with my small chest and weird teen body. ;) :)

Confessions of a highschool sweetheart wannabe

I never really thought about the quote: "be careful what you wish for" until something happened that made me think of it. You see, relationships have never really worked for me because im a really independant person, I know what you're thinking, "Yeah right shes probably a whacked out person and noone wants to be her boyfriend". But seriously I have never really had a relationship that has lasted for over a month, I know, sad right? So i came home envying every girl who had a man at school one day. And when my mom came home from work I complained about it. I was basically talking non stop, it was like I was obsessed with this whole relationship deal. I went on about how is it really so hard to find a nice guy? A guy that will give you flowers or just call you to say hi? I seriouly went on about this for hours... I know pathetic right? So two weeks or so later I finally found a guy he was nice, he gave me flowers one day, called me just to say hi, basically he was everything I wanted. But for some reason it didn't feel right, I thought about all my free time I had before I was in a relationship, all the times I could just go out without having to get a million questions from him. It got to me, so I ended it two weeks later (wow theres a patteren with two week periods in here). But anyways I learned that what everyone has may not be what you always want. So instead of taking the boring approach with a break up by eating a gallon tub of ice cream and thinking about purchasing twelve cats now, I looked at it by saying "I learned right"?